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Santi is Coming....
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Below are the 17 most recent journal entries recorded in ireallyliketofu's LiveJournal:

Thursday, April 19th, 2007
7:54 pm
AP cover!
the boys are on the cover of the new AP!
Wednesday, April 11th, 2007
2:17 am
In a sad attempt to thank TAI..
i wanted to say this little diddy..i've tried messaging on myspace but it's set as away so if they read it here then they do...hate me if you want i just had to get this out seeing as my life has been in the gutter lately so i'll keep it as short as possible

My goal in life is to open a record label and im going to school for graphic design and marketing but my parents wont go for that since everyone in my family is an engineer, lawyer or doctor, they expect me to follow suit..anyways i've been shunned by my family, i have to pay my own schooling now, my car has been taken away and i recently had this conversation with my dad that went something like this; my dad was like "well its not worthing taking the risk,it's one out of a million" and i told and i quote "well it's the one shot in my life worth taking and im not going to my grave regretting not taking that one shot...i can be that one person" i swear black mamba was playing in my head and i love you guys for writing that...it pushes me everyday to show people i can do whatever the fuck i want

Current Mood: accomplished
Saturday, March 31st, 2007
5:54 pm
Santi is fucking here....
and i can't sit still


someone add me i cant take all these fake fucks that add me everyday lol

Current Mood: bouncy
2:14 am
FBR preorder
does anybody's preorder on the FBR tracking say this :

The U.S. Postal Service was electronically notified by the shipper on March 7, 2007 to expect your package for mailing. This does not indicate receipt by the USPS or the actual mailing date. Delivery status information will be provided if / when available. No further information is available for this item.

...i purposely held back on listening to the leak just so i could get the album in my hands first but now a shitload of people have already gotten their copies..i ordered in the first day possible too....i just hope i dont have to buy two copies :(
2:05 am
FBR preorder
does anybody elses preorder from FBR say this when you try to track it:

The U.S. Postal Service was electronically notified by the shipper on March 7, 2007 to expect your package for mailing. This does not indicate receipt by the USPS or the actual mailing date. Delivery status information will be provided if / when available. No further information is available for this item.

.....i preordered it the first day possible and they havent even sent it out yet? i think thats kind of lame seeing as a ton of people have theirs already....please tell me im not the only one in this situation, i might have to buy two copies of this..ive been waiting for it to come and restraining myself from listening to it on mtvU only to hear this news
Friday, March 30th, 2007
5:33 am
oh how they shine for you...
so i went out to my car to grab my ipod because i can't sleep and it always makes me sleepy for some reason when i listen to TAI...as i walked by i noticed the stars were out...im grabbing my sleeping bag and going to sleep on the balcony outside Nan's house...

Current Mood: lonely
4:03 am
i wanted it so desperatley to be real
These are only multicolored capsules, why do they do this to me....what did I do to them to deserve this pain..they're doing their job but it sure as hell doesn't feel like it....feels quite the opposite...they infilitrate my insides but its not a secret operation... I let them in...I welcomed them...I rolled out my tongue as a red carpet...anxiety is my new best friend...he likes to tag along with me, he's quite annoying....when I think he's gone he's just littering my mind with horrible thoughts of what ill become in 5 seconds, days, years, decades...ill be dead...underground...there will be nothing, forever...I'll never see you again biut you can see me...that's fucking troubling...now I can't sleep for fear that my time might arrive....take apart my head and rid the demons

....Santi is coming
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
3:54 am
hey, come back to me
i cant sleep....greta and bob should assist me

My heart has lost its wind now
Broken like a dead sail
My love has drifted out to sea
My body has been claimed
Soul has been shipped away
Can't feel the sand between my toes
We set the wrong course and headed due north
That's where we went wrong
We were young and learning steady hearts hate turning
That's where we went wrong
My will to fight has been flushed
Seized like blank babies faces
The water line begins to rise
Let the tide swallow me whole
Like morning light in windows
Let that dark water take me home
We set the wrong course and headed due north
That's where we went wrong
We were young and learning steady hearts hate turning
That's where we went wrong

Current Mood: contemplative
Wednesday, March 28th, 2007
5:05 am
Santi is coming...
so i have insomnia and i usually just listen to my ipod in an attempt to go to sleep...ive got a playlist made up of From The Red Carpet and Almost Here along with the mp3 file of Big Mess that i got for preordering the album..anyways, TAI are teh only band that can make me go to sleep, maybe because im so used to hearing those songs it just makes me chill...anyways i had a dream that i got in a fight with this kid and i beat the fuck out of him...funny thing is im a pacifist...i fought him because he was talking shit about me liking ninja turtles and being vegetarian, i know random...anyways i went to help him up of the ground because i felt guilty and as i grabbed his hand he like evaporated into the air and i had the word SANTI written in red on my hand...i know it was fucked up...so i woke up and i guess i was talking in my sleep because my roommate was like dude what the fuck is your problem haha...i've never talked in my sleep ever and i was like i have no idea what was i saying...he told me i was repeating, "Santi is coming..."

Current Mood: sleepy
Monday, March 26th, 2007
3:49 pm
the gift of slumber

Its came to the point where the realization that I'm a recluse is complete....this city is my shell, my cave...there's no life around so its easy for me to go unnoticed....friends vanish and enemies reappear like seasons coming and passing...I've made mnay mistakes in my life I know it...they say no one's perfect but one day ill challenge that...there's already this girl that puts perfect to shame and melts my insides everytime our eyes meet....as for now I feel like an inhabitant in a snowglobe...I'm here in what seems like a happy and fruitful environmnent but I can be awaken from my slumber by any small stir around...gun shots, sirens, tears, heartbreak...or your hand shaking my globe, my home, so you can seem me dance for you while those white flakes of misery pour down on my head...things are a hell of a lot pretty from the outside....keep shaking baby, keep shaking.

Santi, marwan

Current Mood: worried
Thursday, March 22nd, 2007
3:58 pm
fuck you texas(austin)

seriously youre older than me, you'll be in alot more of a strenuous profession than me but still i show more composure and maturity than you....drop your ammuntion, be the bigger man..i mean you literally are ...you know what fuck you...this is me rambling, this is me digging myself a grave, i'll bury myself before i give you the satisfaction of victory..these are my pills talking..this is me taking a fucking spill

...ps you'll see who stands stronger in the end
peace bitches

Current Mood: pissed off
Wednesday, March 21st, 2007
4:01 pm
tell me that you're alright

...I'm ok, I promise...don't ask anymore, you're digging yourself a deeper grave

Sunday, March 18th, 2007
4:02 pm
hollywood would be jealous

..everyone fuck off and stop fronting as someone else..i dont need you and you dont need me so stop playing your bullshit games

Tuesday, March 13th, 2007
4:04 pm
Hey you over there...

..is gravity getting you down

The velocity of which my life is moving is indescribable...the pains go by at the slowest pac. while anything slightly enjoyable is gone in the bat of an eyelash...she has sexy eyelashes and her eyes are a gateway drug that leads me through the rest of her body...lust is a funny word, I think I've overdosed.....overdoses are an irrational option....I'm in the gutter but I can deal with it, its been my hibernation point my entire existence....live, love, die...I feel like I'm doing all three at the same time but I'm doing the latter at an alarming pace...every breath I take is one less that I have left...one less that I can use to make a difference...one left....fuck one...I've taken a hundred now...suffocate me in my sleep, keep it sub 200. Love, marwan and his inner demons

Wednesday, March 7th, 2007
4:10 pm
alright, alright slow down

Birthdays are supposed to be a persons favorite day of the year...I've come to dread them....I feel less alive on my birthday than I do any other day of the year...the numbers change but my personality doesn't...I don't treat others differently but they treat me differently...its troubling....every day I live is another closer to death but every year I live is one step closer to life....catch 22....I always hate the idea of my birthday coming but once it arrives I get mildly excited , like maybe ill get a cool present...within minutes that illusion is shattered and as the minutes tick away and the clock reads 11;59 I start to feel like an idiot for wasting MY one day a year bitching about my life...then I get to wait a whoooole year to go through the misery once more....I wouldve been happy to just watch a movie with my girlfriend, open something in wrappiing paper...even if there's nothing in the box and have someone I love tell me happy birthday...well I never got to hear one person verbally say it to me today...I have to stop complaining but I can't...iim sick of being alone, I just want to be loved...someone wrap love in a fucking box with a cute ribbon on it...ill be here.

-if we know the way we're gonna die, through everything else we will survive

Tuesday, March 6th, 2007
4:09 pm
birthday galleries

I've been worn away by birthday memories and galleries
Of pictures in my head of you when I'm away
I'd do anything to keep this fear from flowing through my veins, oh
I'd stay awake and fret just for you

I'm cold...miserable...the only thing I want right now while I'm curled up sick in bed is my girlfriend...that's not gonna happen...I'd give my limbs right now just to have her hand brush across my face and have her tell me everything is gonna be okay...lights are out..I'm hiding under my blanket typing on my phone...I feel so much more intune with the world under this blanket but everytime I peer out I see all these surroudings I fear and hate...I need to get away...I need this feeling to exit my being...such montonous actions are literally boring me to death...every day I repeat the same things like a heartless robot..smile and repeat everyday...that's when depression steps in...I've hit a wall and fucking busted my head...

go watch stranger than fiction, it'll change your life.

Love, marwan.
Ps..its my burfday

Wednesday, January 31st, 2007
6:27 pm
heyyy new, but not really
hi i'm marwan...ive nnever had a livejournal account before but i've loved the academy is...since the days of the non-existent is... haha anyways ive always read this journal but i always hesitated in joining because im shy most of the time and found it kind of intimidating..then i realized that this place is the shiiiit because you guys are all obsessed with TAI just as much as me soo i just wanted to introduce myself and that's it..if i start to ramble its my enoromous ADD haha

Current Mood: anxious
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